My fear of growing up

Hello everyone,
When I was three I thought that adulthood was a world away but today in 2016 my worst fears have come TRUE...well almost anyway.I'm not quite an adult yet but soon will get the taste of that life which to be honest is a mix of emotions-excitement,shock,worry you name it its all there!

My fear I'd say is the biggest concern because it's such a huge leap into the unknown,in the space of a day(my birthday)I'll get the rights to sign everything myself,get a job amongst many other things.

You hear all these things and you're like what?I bet you,90% of 15 year olds probably don't feel emotionally ready for it all but what can you do eh?In this post,I thought I would let out the majority of my concerns and my brutally honest thoughts into the open.

The start of high school was nerve racking,you stand and pose for the camera awkwardly showcasing your brand new uniform,shiny shoes and new trim.Afterwards,you arrive at the school gate and the day begins-the first week is kind of like a catwalk,you groom yourself in the best possible way then pop a smile on eager to make a good impression.

Fast forward to couple of months when you've in settled in and you realise it isn't as bad as you first thought because nope, you don't receive homework like there's no tomorrow and the big kids don't shove your head down the toilet.For me,Year 7 was a breeze and nothing much changed apart from ew puberty.

However during the much later stages of 14 I did realise one thing,"Nothing stays the same forever".There used to be couple who lived two doors down from my Grandma's that we would get along with well,they supported my family through a tough aswell as stressful time(I won't go into detail)and they were absolutely wonderful.When that blew over,my whole family would be busy working their butts off so childcare was an issue but they were still kind enough to look after me day and night.I saw them again when I was 9 along with my younger sibling who they were not so familiar with and again,they were ever so welcoming.

This time,their brood of grandchildren had obviously increased so coming round was a whole lot more fun with way more toys and people to interact with.They were still the same people inside but I gradually noticed their ableness started to decline and on the outside,they were no longer were like before.One of them has passed away now which saddens me because those I love are noticingly changing.

People who I'm close to no longer can walk miles without rest,before it was me who needed that rest and it was them who had to sit down and wait.I long for another day like that where you didn't have to worry about them getting ill and having to see them force a daily pill down their throat. Where has all the time gone you wonder?The popular quote of my Mum's became apparent,"Time flies!".

I take my dreaded GCSES in 2018*cries* and turn 16 next year but despite still being in full time education,the prospect of finding my first job towers over me.Everday the pressure seems to be building up from my parents which I understand is coming from their best interests because they'd like to see me get a good reference that sets me apart from the hundreds of other applicants trying to get into A-levels or college but I wish they would get my anxieties over such a massive change.

My fear of growing up can't be reversed with the swish of a magic wand and a special spell so the best I can do is go along with it...If you're also beginning a new chapter in life perhaps maybe we could do it together?

♥ Daisy Petals ♥